Infertility Is Not a Verdict — Prayers and Segulot

Infertility Is Not a Verdict — Segulot and Prayers

First and foremost, one should pray to the Creator and understand that everything He does is for the best.   Segulot 1. All the mezuzot in the home should be checked, and men should have their tefillin checked; 2. The ketubah (marriage contract) should also be checked to ensure that the names are written correctly; 3. It is advisable that at least two kohanim have this couple in mind during Birkat Kohanim, asking that the Almighty send them children; 4. Before the brit milah, the mohel (the person who performs the circumcision) and the sandek (the person who holds the baby on his lap during the brit) should mention the names of the childless parents; 5. The prayer “Pitum HaKetoret”, which we recite at the beginning of the morning and afternoon prayers, should be read from a klaf (a prayer text written on parchment); 6. One should make an even greater effort to observe the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim (hospitality); 7. Before lighting the Shabbat candles, the woman should recite Hannah’s Prayer (the second part of the Book of Samuel, chapter 2, verses 1–10); 8. Before going to the mikveh, the woman should set aside tzedakah for those who study Torah and pray to the Creator; 9. The husband should undertake that if a child is born, he will recite the prayer “Nishmat Kol Chai” with great kavanah; 10. It is also very helpful for the woman to adopt stricter standards of tzniut (modesty in dress), as written in the Zohar. In addition to the fact that a modestly dressed woman brings blessing to the home, this is especially helpful for having and raising children; 11. If the man has problems with sperm, he should sit in cold water for ten minutes before marital relations. 12. It is also helpful to eat roasted garlic on the evening before conception (many people eat fish with garlic); 13. Both husband and wife should stay away from smokers—nicotine is harmful to conception; 14. There is a tradition of boiling in water the aravot (willow branches) that were raised on Sukkot and drinking the decoction, since the word ערבה “aravah” has the same gematria, 277, as the word זרע “zera” (seed). One should drink at least a revi'it (approximately 89 milliliters) and pray to the Almighty that He send children; 15. For protection against miscarriage, before the Torah reading in the synagogue, the husband should say: “Ve'atem hadevekim ba-Ad-nai Eloheichem chayim kulchem hayom”—(“But you who cleave to the L-rd your G-d are all alive today”). 16. A pregnant woman should be especially careful not to eat anything that is non-kosher. 17. According to the Arizal (may his merit protect us), one should be especially careful before and after Shabbat: one should add to Shabbat rather than wait until the last moment to light the Shabbat candles, and after Shabbat one should not begin working immediately, but should extend the rest and holiness of Shabbat; 18. In cases of infertility, one recites Psalms 102 and 103. 19. “Shiluach HaKen.” The Almighty said: “If you fulfill the commandment to send the mother bird away from the nest, I swear that you will have children.” As it says: “Send away the mother, but take the young for yourself” (based on Midrash Tanhuma). 20. The birth of healthy and strong children is connected with taharat ha-mishpachah—observance of the laws of family purity. One should give these laws special attention and observe them precisely; 21. To merit having a son, one should observe the mitzvah of ahavat Yisrael—love for all Jews—with special care; 22. According to Kabbalah, generating love in the spiritual realm is a segulah for procreation in the physical realm; 23. The book “Ta'amei Minhagim” quotes Rabbi Chaim Vital as saying that a diamond hinders conception and impedes childbirth (it “seals the womb”);   Segulot by Month of Pregnancy — During the first three days after the commanded marital union, one should pray for the pregnancy to take hold—that the fertilized egg should implant in the proper place on the uterine wall. — From the third to the fortieth day of pregnancy, one may pray that the child be born with the desired sex, since this matter is determined on the fortieth day. Requests submitted late will not be considered. — From the fortieth day to three months, one should pray that all the child’s organs form and develop properly, so that everything will be in its proper place and sound. — From three to six months, one should pray that the pregnancy progress safely and not be interrupted by miscarriage. — From six to nine months, one should pray that the child enter the world healthy and beautiful, and that the birth be easy and successful.   Prayer for Conception Yehi ratzon milfanecha Adonai Elohai ve-Elohei avotai, Tzur ha-olamim, tzaddik bechol hadorot, lema'an Shimcha hagadol hane'elam mipesuk: “Adonai zecharanu yevarech, yevarech et beit Aharon,” shetiten li zera zachar ratzui ve-agun vetov veyafeh, metukan umekubal veraui lihyot ulehitkayem bli shum avon ve'ashmah. Vetiten li zera anashim utevarcheini be-SShimcha, utevarech et beiti bezichrecha, ve'eda ki shalom be'oli. Vetashpia bo nefesh veruach uneshama mimachzav tahor. Utekhonen kol hachanotav kedei lehashlimo ulekaimo ulehaamido benoi vachen uvechesed uverachamim, bekavriut, be'ometz uvetokef uvigvurah. Uterachem alav be'asoto, beitrakmo eivarav. Vetatzigehu al buri'o benafsho uveruho uvenishmato, bikravav uvetzurotav. Velo yiheyeh be'echad me'eivarav, lo nezek velo chisaron, lo nega velo choli. Velo yechsar lo kol tov kol yemei chayav. Veyivaled bemazal tov uvesha'ah tovah uverachah ve'atzlachah. Veyihyeh chayim tovim va'arukim uleshalom, bein beruchaniyut bein begashmiyut, be'osher ve'osher vechavod bichlal amcha Yisrael. Utevarcheini ve'et zarei vezera zarei bechol davar hamashlim da'atenu usichlenu vehasagateinu la'asot retzonecha. Utevarcheini bevirchot shamayim me'al uvevirchot tehom rovetzet tachat, birchot shadayim varacham. Ana Adonai Tzevaot Elohei Yisrael yoshev hakruvim, tihyena oznecha kashuvot lekol tachanunai, hashkifa mime'on kodshecha alai hashkifa letovah venatata li zera anashim, mushpa beneshama kedoshah, ve'iheyeh oseik baTorah umekayem mitzvot. Umibirchot picha tevarcheini veyivarech beit amdecha im kol beit Yisrael le'olam. Shema tefilati Adonai, veshavati haazinah. Vekayem bi kavanat yetziratcha ha-adam ba'olamcha, ki lashevet otah Atah berata, ve'atah yetzartah. Venatata li zera anashim kadosh vetahor beneshama chadasha, kedoshah utehorah min ha-otzar tavo, medubak benishmot kedoshei elyonim. Ve'atem neshamot hakdosheים asher hayitem ba'olam hazeh, chalu na penei El lemalei she'elati letovah, bizchutechem uvizchut asher ani mit'avah lehaamid ben zariz umemuleh baTorah ve'agun linviyut. Shema koli Adonai Elohim vekabel berachamim uveratzon et tefilati (and if one is near the graves of the righteous, add: bizchut hatzadikim hatemunim po), ve'al teshiveini reikam milfanecha utemalei she'elati letovah, va'agadlenhu leyirat Adonai kol hayamim ad olam, uvevanav bekerev Yisrael, amen. Translation: May it be Your will, Ha-Shem, my G-d and the G-d of my fathers, Foundation of all worlds, righteous throughout all generations. For the sake of Your great, hidden Name, from the verse: “Ha-Shem has remembered us; He will bless us; He will bless the house of Aaron,” grant me a desired son—worthy, good, and beautiful, without physical or spiritual defects, capable of living and enduring without any sin or transgression. Grant me a child, bless me with Your Name, and bless my home with Your remembrance, so that I may know peace in my dwelling. Infuse the embryo with a soul, spirit, and neshamah from a pure source. Complete all that is necessary to perfect him, sustain him, and bring him into the world well formed, with grace, favor, and mercy, healthy, courageous, firm, and strong. Have compassion on him as You create him and shape his limbs. Make him complete in spirit, soul, internal organs, and bodily structure. May none of his limbs suffer any injury, deficiency, ailment, or illness. May he lack nothing throughout all the days of his life. May he be born at the proper time and in a good hour, safely and successfully. May he have a good, long, and peaceful life, both spiritually and materially, with wealth, happiness, and honor, together with all Your people Israel. Bless me, my descendants, and my descendants’ children with everything that perfects our awareness, understanding, and comprehension, so that we may fulfill Your will. Bless me with the blessings of Heaven above and with the blessings of the deep that lies below; bless my breasts and my womb. Please, G-d of Hosts, G-d of Israel, Who sits between the cherubim, let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. Look upon me favorably from Your holy dwelling place and grant me a child with a holy soul, who will be occupied with Torah and observe the mitzvot. Bless me with the blessings of Your mouth, and may the house of Your servant be blessed forever together with all the people of Israel. Hear my prayer, Ha-Shem, and heed my supplication. Fulfill in me the purpose for which You created man in Your universe, for You created man to inhabit the earth and formed him. Grant me a child who is holy and pure, with a new, holy, and pure soul descended from the treasury of souls, united with the souls of the holy righteous. And you, holy souls who lived in this world, please beseech G-d to fulfill my request for the good, through your merit and through the merit of my fervent desire to raise a son who is swift, filled with Torah, and worthy of becoming a prophet. Hear my voice, Ha-Shem, my G-d, and accept my prayer with mercy and favor (and if one is near the graves of the righteous, add: and in the merit of the righteous buried here). Do not send me away empty-handed from Your presence; fulfill my request for the good, and I will raise my son in the fear of G-d all his days, and those of his sons, within the people of Israel. Amen.   Hannah’s Prayer “Vatitpalel Chana vatomar, alatz libi ba-Adonai, ramah karni ba-Adonai, rachav pi al oyvai, ki samachti bishuatecha, ein kadosh ka-Adonai, ki ein biltecha ve-ein tzur ke-Eloheinu. Al tarku tedabru gevoha gevoha yetze atak mipichem ki El de'ot Adonai, velo nitkenu alilot. Keshet giborim chatim vehanichshalim azru chayil. Seve'im balechem niskaru, ure'evim chadelu, ad akarah yaldah shiv'ah verabat banim umlalah. Adonai memit umechayeh, מוריד שאול ויעל. Adonai morish uma'ashir, mashpil af meromem. Mekim me'afar dal, me'ashpot yarim evyon lehoshiv im nedivim vekisei chavod yan'chilem, ki la-Adonai metzukei aretz, veyashet aleihem tevel. Raglei chasidav yishmor, uresha'im bachoshech yidamu, ki lo bechoach yigbar ish. Adonai yechatu merivav alav bashamayim yar'em, Adonai yadin afsei aretz, veyiten oz lemalcho veyarem keren meshicho. Ribono shel Olam. Kemo sheshamata litfilat Chana be'et metzukati, ken tishma letfilati be'et metzukati, she'over alav achshav (personal request). Vetiten li banim zecharim, chayim vekayamim, oskim beToratecha hakdoshah, udvekim becha kemo Shmuel hanavi, shene'emar bo: “Vehana'ar Shmuel holech vegadel vetov gam im Adonai vegam im anashim, velo ta'aleh shum kinah vesinah ve'ayin hara aleihem, veten li koach uvriyut legadlam beneik, ulehasiam samuch lefir kamam mamash, beofen sheyihyu shemurim min hachet, veyihyu dvekim becha tamid be'emunah berurah umezakekhet, velo yihyeh shum פסול bezar'i le'olam, ve'ezkeh lir'ot banim livneihem, vetiten li uleva'ali arichut yamim veshanim tovot, venirveh rov nachat mikol tze'etza'einu vetze'etza'ei tze'etza'einu me'atah ve'ad olam, amen selah!” Translation “And Hannah prayed and said: ‘My heart exults in the L-rd; the L-rd has raised my strength. He has enabled my mouth to answer my enemies, for I rejoice in Your salvation. There is none as holy as the L-rd, for there is none besides You, and there is no rock like our G-d. Do not multiply arrogant words; let insolent speech not come from your mouths, for the L-rd is a G-d of knowledge, and deeds are weighed by Him. The bows of the mighty are broken, while those who stumbled gird themselves with strength. Those who were satiated hire themselves out for bread, while the hungry cease to hunger. The barren woman bears seven, while she who had many children languishes. The L-rd brings death and gives life; He brings down to the grave and raises up. The L-rd makes poor and makes rich; He humbles and He also exalts. He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the refuse, to seat them with nobles and grant them a throne of honor. For the pillars of the earth belong to the L-rd, and He has set the world upon them.’ G-d of peace! Just as You heard Hannah’s prayer in her time of distress, so may You hear my prayer in my time of distress, which has now befallen me (request), and grant me the strength to raise healthy sons who will study Your holy Torah and cleave to You, like the prophet Samuel, as it is said of him: ‘And the boy Samuel continued to grow and was held in favor both by Ha-Shem and by people.’ May jealousy, hatred, and the evil eye never affect them. Grant me strength and health to raise them with ease and bring them to marriage, until they reach the age when they can guard themselves from sin and cleave to You forever with clear and pure faith. May their descendants never be unfit; grant me the merit of seeing grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Grant me and my husband long and happy lives, and may our descendants and their descendants bring us only joy, always and forever, for all eternity. Amen!’ (Based on materials from the “Sila Tehilim” group on Odnoklassniki, as well as advice from Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch — http://www.torahone.com/docs/childless.htm)