The Power of Prayer: The Ability to Forgive

The Power of Prayer: The Ability to Forgive

Prayer has the power to make a person gentler, more patient, and more peace-loving. The words of prayer are intended to obtain a “lenient judgment” and make life smoother and calmer—without heart-wrenching pain, deprivation, and suffering. Yoram Lemelman teaches that the words להתפלל (to pray), תפילה (tefillah), and פלילי (criminal) share the same root letters: פ (Peh) and ל (Lamed)—together conveying the meaning “to separate.” The meaning of the word להתפלל (to pray) is to receive one’s portion, to obtain what has been destined for oneself. The meaning of the word פלילי (criminal) is to depart from the norms of behavior accepted by society. Herein lies the meaning of prayer: before asking for anything special—for a mitigation of judgments, compassion, or deliverance from the vicissitudes of fate—we must first show this same gentleness and compassion toward our fellow human beings and those around us. But most importantly—before praying, forgive. This is what Chazal teach us. They composed one of the most important and obligatory Jewish prayers, “Keriat Shema al ha-Mita” (the prayer recited before sleep)—it contains powerful words about forgiveness. If we make it a practice to recite them every day and picture those people whose pain and hurt have not faded, we can learn to free our holy souls and minds from this heavy burden: “Ribono Shel Olam, hareini mochel vesoleach lechol mi shehich'is vehiknit oti, o shechata kenegdi…” — (Master of the Universe! I hereby forgive and pardon anyone who has offended or insulted me, or caused me personal harm, or harmed my property, or my good name, or anything that belongs to me. Whether under duress or willingly, by mistake or intentionally, by word or deed, in this lifetime or a previous one—every member of Israel—and may no person be punished on my account. May it be Your will, L-rd, my G-d and the G-d of my fathers, that I sin no more. As for the sins I have committed, cleanse me in Your great mercy, without sending me suffering or serious illness. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be acceptable to You, O L-rd, my Rock and Redeemer). We must learn to forgive—to forgive people and to channel our negative emotions or anger into something more productive, replacing that energy with something new that will benefit us and distract us from our hurt. Do not seek revenge, but let go—in other words, free yourself. This demonstrates your faith in G-d, that all people are sent into our lives for a reason. And make it a habit to recite this prayer as part of “Keriat Shema al ha-Mita” (as found in siddurim).